Enough

September 15, 2016

 

Last night, for the first time in months, I sat down to watch TV.  I had accomplished everything on my to-do list for the day, and my feet were tired.  Usually, I would read a book, but I really wanted to look on my show listings to see if Oprah's interview with Glennon Doyle Melton was there.  (Because if you're a mom and a blogger and you live in the western world, the whole Oprah and Glennon coming together thing is pretty huge.  But I digress.  And I begin sentences with forbidden words, for that matter.)  It wasn't available yet.  Sigh.  I had already sat down and gotten myself comfy on the couch which again is something that I rarely do.  My husband even sat down with me which is even rarer.  There was, however, an interview on demand that did look almost just as good -- Oprah and Tony Robbins.  I'm not going to link to their pages because if you are reading my blog, the chances of you not knowing who Oprah and Tony Robbins are is pretty slim.  It was 41 minutes long -- exactly how much time I had if I wanted to be in bed by 10pm.  So, I pressed play. 

 

It's funny how two people watching the same show will pick up on different comments. During my school days, I'd sit through a lecture and then there would be questions based on it.  I would say to my friends, "How were we supposed to know that when the professor never said it?" They would reply, "You don't remember them saying that?"  Honestly, it's not that I don't remember.  I just didn't pick up on it.  I heard the whole thing.  I just didn't tune in to that part.  So, Tony Robbins says something to Oprah that is so magically in alignment with my HUGE lesson this past week.  I mean, this lesson that I finally "got" was so intense.  And yes, I WILL share it with you.  In a minute.  So I hear Tony say this, and I pause the show and I get out my notebook from the two yoga classes that I have taught so far this week.  And I read the words written in my handy, dandy notebook to my husband.  And I say, "that's what he just said!"  And my husband says, I heard something else completely different, rewind it.  {Insert married-sixteen-years-eye-roll.  I love you, honey.}  And sure enough he said it.

 

He told Oprah that the main reason people loose hope in life is because they feel like they are somehow "not enough."  Got that?  Let me say it again, because that's what Tony Robins and Oprah both would do.  *The main reason that people loose hope in life is because they feel like they are not enough.*   And guess what realization I came to this past week?  I realized that my whole life, no matter how much I have given to other people, I have felt as though it could never be enough.  At the same time, I have felt like no matter what I had it was never enough.  And at the core of it?  I was not enough.  My thought process went like this.  There is so much suffering in the world that I could never give enough to end it.  And I could never receive enough to be able to give enough to end it.  You see, my ego's desire to save the world from suffering...like that's my job? martyr much?...led me to think that whatever I gave or received, it would never be enough.  Well guess what?  Last I checked, God is not asking me to single-handedly save the world from suffering.  He is also not asking that of you, either, in case you had the same thought process that I did.  He is not asking that of any of us.  He has given us the talents and resources that we have to save ourselves from our own suffering!  It's possible. And that was Tony's bottom line.  We can all save ourselves from our own suffering.  I feel as though I took a big step closer to this reality by choosing to stop believing the lies that I have been telling myself.  The minute I realized that I have been lying to myself for 40 years I wrote this down:

 

"I give enough.

I receive enough.

I have enough.

I do enough.

I am enough."

 

And that is the truth.  Right there.  For each of us.  And yes, it is really, really similar to a certain SNL episode that was very popular about 25 years ago.  I've noticed a trend that the truth is an easy target for people to make fun of.  For instance, I just heard an expert in public speaking say that the more successful you become, the more people will decide that they have something against you.  This really is a by-product of truth telling.  Because when you stand in your truth, there will always be people out there who have made themselves super comfortable living in an illusion.  And the truth is way too threatening to them, so they make fun of it.  And you can laugh at yourself with them, or cry about it.  Your choice.  Honestly, depending on the day, I've done both.  But, I've reached a point in my life that I will not let the jokes deter me from my vision, which is to give the best of me every day, but to know that depending on the day and the circumstances, my best can vary.  So I know I can truly say, "It was enough, because it was my best in this moment."

 

Seven years ago, I experienced a life-changing event.  Spirit decided in the most inconvenient and embarrassing of ways to use me as a channel. This had never happened to me before, so I didn't handle it too well.  I will share more about this story in future blogs, but what Spirit shared through me is a process of self-awareness and growth that has completely allowed me to feel whole again.  For anyone who has lived through a traumatic event, you know that you feel as though your life has fallen apart.  Often after a traumatic event, we felt fragmented.  Through my channeled process, I have come to understand yet that this feeling is totally normal.  It's just part of the process!  We are supposed to fall apart so that we can re-new again, even better than we were before.  It's a really slow process, and we often can't see that we are making progress because we want the immediate answers. This is when we begin to loose hope, because we feel like we are somehow supposed to be "more" than we are as we move through the stage of the process known as grief.  

 

Eventually, as we continue to move thought the 13-phase process, we will reach another phase that I refer to as "Vision".  "Vision" is when you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel again, and you can see forward to how you actually want to feel and what you really want to create in your life.  In the movement sequence that I created to emulate this 13-phase process, "Vision," includes looking forward through the third eye and affirming what you truly desire.  So in my classes this week, as I had my students gaze forward through their third eye, we affirmed "I give enough. I receive enough. I have enough. I do enough. I am enough."  That was why I had it written in my notebook - so I could share it with my students!  To quote Mike Dooley, again, "We teach best what we need to learn most."

 

Here's the bottom line.  We can all take a few moments to look at the places in our lives where we are most dissatisfied and we can then look even deeper.  I think Tony is right.  At the core we are either feeling like we don't give enough, we don't receive enough, we don't have enough, we don't do enough, or we simply aren't enough to keep up with the demands of life.  And none of the above is true.  If we really take five minutes to be grateful for all that we give, all that we receive, all that we have, all that we do, and all that we are, we will see that we are just right.  And God has our backs.  So we can stop freaking out, yes?  Well, let's try it and see.

 

I challenge you to write these five affirmations in your journal or on a piece of paper in your wallet or handbag.  Just have it nearby.  When the monkey mind starts to take over, spend five minutes in gratitude and say these five affirmations.  Use the #5minvision and take a photo of something that you are grateful for.  Whatever you choose to be grateful for doesn't have to be something big, in fact Tony recommends finding at least one small thing.  Actually, look through your photos right now and see if you already had that moment of gratitude and snapped a pic of it.  It can be the smallest of joys.  I chose feathers because one of my twins always finds them. He gets very excitied when he finds them.  Some people say they are a sign that angels or deceased loved ones are nearby. When you look at your picture remember that all is well and you are enough.  Enough already. 

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